I have a master's degree. Not as much of a flex or a brag, as it is a sign post of my growth. A grown up. From student to person.
What kind of person? One that is a master at something.
It is true, I guess by definition that I am a master of public health. I can grant write, program plan, apply systems thinking, evaluate a program, analyse data, communicate health information and go on about health systems organization and policy for days. But that doesn't define me.
For the past 20 years being a student has been a definition I felt at home in. For the most recent 5 of those years, that identity was even more rooted as I was a student-athlete. I knew what that role looked like. I played that role well. But now, I don't know the script for this next one.
The character I become in this next chapter, has the opportunity to gain new layers. She gets to write exactly who and what kind of person she would like to be. She gets to build the mold. The things she would like to develop mastery at.
If you asked me 5 years ago where I expected to be upon graduation, I would have written a charming story of success. A story of a young woman who dominated on the track explored curiosity in the classroom and was prepared to march into medical school. I have vivid images of that woman in my mind. She never gets pimples, she never misses appointments and she makes everyone around her feel loved.
I get pimples like I'm still 16. I miss appointments. I've gotten a parking ticket 3 times in the same spot this month. I am not ready for medical school today. I felt unmotivated and drain during my last semester of college. I dealt with a painful and confusing injury preventing me from competing. I was depressed. There's was a pandemic.
These things will not be quickly changed, despite putting more intention into my skin care routine (thanks, Rodan + Fields, The Ordinary and Dr. Glosser).
Yet, I am still proud. I am proud to be the young woman who is accepting that she is evolving. Learning, growing, balancing on the tight rope, or more likely in my case, the slackline of life. Follow along to read more about the stumbles and views from this line, as I decide how this chapter will be written.
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